Monthly Archives: March 2016

What derives our happiness?

 

One of my school junior had shared this video and I could not help noticing that the video talks about life and happiness . Ted videos are very motivating as they have speakers from all walks of life who have battled all kind of circumstances in their lives to be a person of substance.

The speaker, Robert Waldinger who happens to be an American Psychiatrist talks about one of the longest study done in Harvard University on adult happiness. The study was done for 75 years on 724 people from different walks of life . Some of the people on whom the studies were done are nonagenarian , some have passed . Some people lead a very normal life and some rose to very high echelons of society . But the finding was really surprising . Everybody at the young age craved to be rich and famous . But the people who remained healthy are the people who had more stronger ties with families , friends and their social network. People who led a socially fulfilling life were more healthier , more alert in the old age.

What does it imply ? Life is all about sharing and caring . And our happiness is not dependent on swanky cars , palatial homes but the warmth and love which we have in our homes. Sometimes people are so bogged down by their ego that they forget that everything is transient .

If you  are in abusive relationship , the earlier you come out of it the better it is for your wellbeing . Don’t just keep hanging there for petty gains . Walk out once and for all .

We don’t realize that Life is not about winning/losing but living it up fully despite the odds/setbacks which life throw at us. Work is just a very small part of our existence. People who have ego and eyes brightened by success actually lead a very hollow life. If your work or I should say your existence cannot bring a smile to a needy child or if you do not have empathy for people around you , your health also deteriorates slowly and you are on the path of annihilation.

The mantra of good living is inner joy and happiness and that comes only with human touch. Be thoughtful , laugh often ,be sympathetic towards your family and friends . Forgive and move on . The happiness in your life is multiplied manifold when you lend a helping hand to people around you , a kind ear to a friend in need. Spend quality time with your family and friends , give back to society by participating in community events , have empathy and compassion for people around you

I go often to conduct skill building workshops for children and youth  for people who come from the lower sections of society , children of labourers and daily wage earners , who cannot afford good education. And believe me the amount of satisfaction which I experience  when I see their smiling, contented faces is indescribable. Life is not about  how many moments you live but moments which made someone’s  life worth while.

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Happy Women’s Day

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Today is International Women’s day , celebrating the essence of being woman. My whatsapp , Facebook was jammed with messages congratulating the celebration of being woman. Yes it does feel nice when you read good things about your tribe.

But then I wonder what about the other 364 days in the calendar .Does one day celebration of Womanhood gives you the right to subjugate her for the rest of year?

Why as a wife you are always expected to cook , clean and take care of the house ? As a daughter you are asked to obey the rules what your father / brother would lay for you ? As a sister you are always escorted to your activity classes or even to the tuition centre ?

Why we don’t have the freedom to choose the career we want to take ? Why always the beaten line of doctor/ engineer ? Why you are coerced to marry at a certain age ?Why we cannot be singers, actors or dancers ?

Why we have different rules for the boys and girls in the house ? Why we are raised with such thought process that as girls we cannot do certain things?

I am not a feminist and neither I glorify womanhood . But I wonder if we cannot change our attitude toward the women in our lives what does one day of celebration will do to make their lives better.

There are countless stories of horror which happened just few days before in the world around us , Women being pulled and raped in Haryana . In Syria and other countries the plight of women is beyond horrible . The women are traded as you trade other commodities . They are sold , bought not fed for days and are forced to do all kind of manual jobs . If that’s not enough they are raped repeatedly , even kept in jails naked . This situation is not only prevalent in Syria , any country where there is unrest , the crime against women increases manifold. This was a finding done by one of the top agency of UNO.

I was reading a cover story featured in one of the very reputed magazine. It was a heart-breaking story from one of the little known town from United kingdom where almost from each house there was a woman who has been facing mental and physical abuse from the caretaker and the man of the house . These English girls are hired from small towns and poor families who cannot fed for themselves. They are underfed , asked to do all kind of manual work , physically and sexually abused . The story was gory and each of these young girls was suffering silently in pain. If this is the plight of an entire town , what will be its future ?

There can never be a perfect world , perhaps it is too far fetched, too Utopian to even think about it but one change in thought can bring a change in Someone’s life .Don’t make decisions for your wife ,lover , sister or daughter. Ask her what she wants , how she would like to shape her life.  Just because she is not physically superior than the man counterpart , you cannot make a decision for her that she cannot travel alone or go for a movie alone. Men and Women are not born to be equal but that does not imply that women cannot take their decisions on their own . A society is always known by the fact how beautifully/tenderly they treat their women , that fact heralds the real progress of the country.

Before you wish your wife , daughter , sister and your friend a “Happy Women’s day ” do ask a question to yourself did you judge her or underestimated her just because she is women ?This question might be piercing ,but it will change someone’s life for  good and that will be the true celebration of Womanhood…

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