Category Archives: Friendship

A time to Remember !!

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.

                                           Mary Elizabeth frye

Almost a month back , father of my childhood friend Sofi passed away. It happened suddenly and the news was quite shocking for me.Uncle was all hale and hearty a week before.  Sofi and I studied in the same class till Class 10 and has lot of memories to look back.

My childhood was spent in the city of Bokaro. It is a SAIL city just like the cities of Rourkela, Bhilai , Visakhapatnam etc. And if you have been to one of  such cities, you would agree that they have their own old world charm. Bokaro is divided into 12 sectors and each sector is a neighborhood equipped with a health center, playgrounds , staff residences ( mostly people working in the steel plants used to live there) schools and shopping center. I used to stay in sector 5/C and study in Guru Gobind Singh Public School which was a 10 minute walk from my home.I literally crossed two playgrounds to reach my school. As an inquisitive child my eyes used to wander in search of wild flowers , butterflies and ladybirds. And I used to feel at the top of world whenever I used to see one. Such carefree days where we had ample time to wander in the wilderness and getting lost in doing nothing.

It was class 10 and I was worried most about Mathematics .  We came to know that the principal of Ayappa School who was a reputed mathematics teacher used to stay in sector 5 itself. It was a boon to have someone like him at a walk-able distance. Life was simple then , a handshake and a cup of tea used to solve many complex problems. It was Sofi’s father Mr. K.N. Gopalkrishna Uncle who first spoke to the principal sir about the help which we needed in Mathematics and slowly I and my other classmate Bhavna joined his classes along with Sofi.

There was neither a mobile during that time nor the luxury of other material possessions.But what we had was empathy and an informality in day to day life. I remember Uncle as an affable person who always encouraged us to do well. It is a joy just to remember those carefree days.Our fathers always dropped us on time whenever they could and they would joke about how good we were as daughters and the pride was always to praise the other daughter but not his own.

Although Sofi and I were competitors but Uncle would always praise me for something or the other. This small instance I always remember and we laugh my heart out whenever it comes in my mind.

One day when we reached classes , it was little late and this time the fathers of Sofi and Bhavna had also came to drop us.

So once we were inside, my father was talking some humdrum stuff with Chopra Uncle and Gopalkrishnan Uncle. In between Gopalkrishnan remarks that Bhavna is a very cute child and is really very calm and quiet. Chopra uncle hearing this says , ” what cute Sir , She is just like a baby elephant ” . Hearing this neither my father nor Gopalkrishnan Uncle was able to contain himself and they break into unbridled laughter.

This small incidence father told me after the classes and whenever we remember this we break into a loud laugh. This small incidents is not life changing but there was something about that time which was pure and simple.

Sofi’s father is no more but I still remember how simple he was and had the innocence of a small child. His death was unexpected and heart wrenching for my friend . With this post I wanted to Convey Sofi  that he is not there physically but his ideals and values will keep ensconcing her life with his presence.

A photo which Sofi shared with me …. where she is seen with her parents…. What is the one thing which strikes you about this photo?Sofi.jpg


On Friendship and Relationship …My unusual take


I was talking to a friend and She was upset . She was a wreck and it was painful for me to see her in that condition. Yes most of the time when we are upset it is because of the people whom we care about , family , friends or that someone special . So if you are upset about someone whom you really like and they don’t bother to reciprocate your feelings , to care about you or return your call , it is time to accept that fact . But why you are cringing and crying . Trust me that person might be busy in the following things  ( And you thought you are the one who matter them most , go smack your face …. GRRR … make sure it does not hurt much)

1) The roof of their house would have fallen and they will be busy repairing them . After all we all need a good night sleep. And yes I forgot to mention that there was a warning from the meteorological department of a looming sandstorm .  Oh , you definitely don’t want your friend staring at you with sand in his/her eyes …Ouuchhh it hurts….very very much .. Go please wash your face with cold water…Splashing alternately on your eyes.

2) You are waiting for them to call back and they are busy making money … Honey what is life without some penny. You want them to gift a Louis Vuitton or Prada . And then you expect them talking to you . Hello , Have not someone told in the school that we can earn money only through hard work and dedication ? Ohhh I forgot that you were sitting in the last bench ..And you were not paying attention at all ?? Oh because of these back benchers only School is such a booming business ..

3) They must be busy distributing food , clothing and medicines to the needy people in the flood affected areas of Uttaranchal or the recent earthquake that happened in Sierre Leone  .Don’t ask me where is Sierre Leone ? It is not my fault that you were not paying attention in the Geography class . But you can complain that you never knew that your friend was such a big humanitarian . Check to see if he/she descended from the 12 Apostles of Peace and humanity.

4) They must love you with all their heart but you cannot fathom their madness .And in order to get over you they would have drowned 2-3 bottles of Pinot Grigio or Vodka . And you thought your friend was Sober ?  What were you ? Drunk ?

5)They were enjoying a content life in the lap of nature and you came barged into their lives bringing emotion and sob story , oh you are sounding so needy now . Go take a break and if not drown yourself in the nearest well or river.

So , if you are still reading this and laughing with all your guts , You are surely not a loser . There are more better things to do in this world than crying over someone who was never yours . So . now when you have started thinking like an evolved Homo Sapien. Go change the world , otherwise that ape staring at you is going to eat all your bananas . And at that time don’t cry that I did not warn you …..

Linking this with Three Word Wednesday

Conditions Apply

holding hands

I am what I am

Not the one you want to see

I come with my own

Light and darkness

And that’s what makes me apart

Friendship is pious and unconditional

The sacred thread that binds two souls

A beacon in the dark alleys

Illuminating the treacherous path of life

Don’t tag with Conditions Apply

PS : Some thoughts on friendship and relations . Sometimes we overburden our lives with our expectations and ideologies and make our life complicated . Why is that we always tag our relationship with our preconceived notions . Let us be uncomplicated and veer towards love and happiness. If you want to call somebody , call them now , don’t wait for them to call you back , if you want to say I love you , do it now .If you have done something wrong say it now and say that you regret it.


I am also down with fever and cold , need your warm words and some TLC 🙂

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If Only You Were Here

A fascination

Lost in  time , Her essence

Buried in my soul  , Forever


I remember the first day when I was admitted to a new school in Class 3  at Dhanbad . The principal happened to be my grandfather’s friend . Those time admissions to any school never used to be a daunting task . After clearing all the formalities I was ushered by my class teacher to my new class . I was wearing a white frock with pink ruffles  . I still did not have my school dress and it was ok to wear colored dress for few days .

She was looking at me with her inquisitive smile , her large brown eyes constantly peering at me with warmth .  In the lunch time when I was eating my snacks  alone as I was too shy to go to anyone she came towards me and offered me her lunch , ” Do you want some puris ?” and I was taken aback by her sweet voice . I gladly accepted and our friendship started . Her name was Priyanka and she became my confidante .A friendship that is not judged or led by narrow thinking of so called grown-ups , innocence which can touch heart and smile that can fade all the miseries in oblivion.

Priyanka was my first brand ambassador, rooting for me to become class Monitor , saving the last morsel of tasty food for me , clapping first and till last even for the most insignificant achievement ,her dainty fingers never pained and her words always singing hymns of praise in front of others . One day , when school got over , I and my brother sat on the rickshaw to come to home , she climbed back saying that she wants to come to my home with me . I got down and asked where is her driver who comes to pick her from the school. And she replied that her parents are out of town and she already told his driver to come and pick her from my home .

I was naive  and did not have any option but to believe her  . My mother was surprised to see that first time I have got a school friend to home.She asked me about her and I told her the whole story . Ours was a joint family with uncle , aunts , grandparents and a host of other relatives who will come dropping by . My mother gave supper to me and Priyanka . She even wore my blue polka dotted dress and we started playing in the parapet roof .

In the mean time her driver came and after not finding her in the school and of course searching in the class , cafeteria, playground etc panicked and went home to report that she is missing . Her parents got cold feet and rushed to school . The principal , teachers everybody assembled in the school . And soon police also came . In the evening a  vehicle was hired to make the announcement of her missing from the school . We had a hotel in the town and one of my uncle heard the announcement . Dhanbad is a district town and it was 80’s , a time where consumerism has not driven out our social values and in every street there were people whom we had known for years.  When my uncle heard the announcement he was startled as he knew that this is the school where we studied .

Late evening when he came for some errand he was surprised to see Priyanka . He asked about her whereabouts and then told the missing story to my mother . My mother was shocked to hear that and they became confident that the missing girl is none but priyanka . Everybody went to the school , her parents were informed and soon they came to the school .I was too small to even understand what would have gone in her parent’s mind when they would have found her missing.

Next day She came to the school , her demeanor like a placid lake as if nothing had happened . A year passed where we laughed , teased each other , made fun of others ,shared food .  I was a sincere child always doing my work on time, listening attentively to the teachers . At the end of term when the results were announced I came second in the class. Priyanka kept clapping for me and stopped only when she was reminded by our teacher .  In arguments she will be the first person to support me , the only one who will keep staring at me for any performance as if she is start-struck for life. I failed to understand her unflinching support and her affection .

In the next term I moved to Bokaro and she also moved to Jamshedpur as her father got a transfer . And we lost touch and I lost my first best friend , a friendship that can fill anyone’s heart with joy, a friendship which would have blossomed in a life long relation if it would have continued . She would have been my soul-sister , my BFF , my confidante IF ONLY YOU WERE HERE ,  IF ONLY YOU WERE HERE

Sharing with  Write Tribe and Theme Thursday